A Heart That Wouldn't Quit
by SociallyInept
Summary: Lance breaks up with Kitty for good, forever, because he can’t stop loving her.


Title: "A Heart That Wouldn't Quit"

Fandom: X-Men: Evolution

Characters: Kitty, Lance, Ororo Munroe

Word Count: 2215

Rating: PG, one curse word, emotional meltdown

Summary: Lance breaks up with Kitty for good, forever, because he can't stop loving her.

This breakup had been on his end. During the middle of dinner Kitty's cell phone- a recent birthday present from her parents in Illinois- vibrated in her pocket. She had excused herself under the illusion of needing to go to the restroom just so she could check who it was, and ran down the hall to the kitchen when the name 'Lance' showed on the screen. She barely caught the call in time, one more vibration and it would have gone to her voicemail.

"Hello? Lance?" she gasped, trying to catch her breath. The phone was silent on the other end for a moment before he spoke up.

"Kitty, is there any way we can meet up? I need to talk to you, it's important." He said quietly. She frowned a little at his strange tone. It wasn't unusual for Lance to be vague during their phone calls on the mansion's phones because the odds of someone listening in were high, but on her private cell phone it seemed unnecessary.

"I guess so, but only after dinner. Since it's almost eight I'll have to bring someone, the Prof doesn't like us out alone after dark. Or ever, actually."

"I'd rather us be alone for this."

Kitty froze for half a second while her brain simultaneously stopped and kicked into overdrive at the same time. "Is something wrong? Are you in jail? What did you do?"

Lance sighed. "That reaction, that's why I want to talk to you in person. You just assume I'm in some kind of trouble. Can we meet at that crappy little coffee place you like around 8:30?"

"I can't leave the grounds unless I bring somebody, Lance. It's a safety thing. And that 'crappy little coffee place' has really good green tea, thank you."

"Fine. Try to bring someone who won't go blabbing as soon as you leave."

" 'Blabbing'? Come on, Lance, just because we all take a healthy interest in each other's lives-."

"That's not what I meant and you know it- see, now we're fighting. Again. Just like usual."

"What are you saying? You keep saying things like that-." Kitty bit her lip. He had, within the space of a few minutes, accused her of suspecting him of causing trouble and picking fights over silly things. This never bode well for their relationship. It was about this point that Kitty would call it off before he did something to hurt her…

Before he did something to hurt her. She didn't realize until her internal monologue halted what she'd been thinking. She was always the one to call it quits on him, even when- especially when- he promised to change. He never did. They both knew it was a futile promise, and that it was really just a step in their little hateful romance. There was too much pressure in their separate lives for anything less than total harmony, and neither one of them felt particularly harmonious after a few hours in each others' presence, especially with their lifestyles pulling them apart.

He said she was too good for him, to stop wasting her time crying over him, but his words sounded false. Lance wasn't that thoughtful. He generally didn't think more than a few days ahead at a time, claiming it wasn't being disorganized, it was so he didn't have to think about the future. This didn't make sense to Kitty- the future isn't a set path, it's never too late to change it, to improve it. There were a lot of flaws in Lance's logic like that. When they were getting along it was easier to ignore them, but when apart, whether it just be because of curfew, or a breakup, or regular old physical distance, they expanded and grew until she couldn't think of any positive traits to him at all.

There was only the sarcasm, the anger, the barely repressed rage…and that subtle resignation to despair that only came out when Lance thought nobody was paying attention. Kitty wondered why he hid it, and why it was there to begin with. She knew his story, how his life had gone so far, but did not know why he had given up on himself. She could not place the exact moment when he had stopped talking about what he was going to do tomorrow and instead spoke of what he had done wrong in the past.

"Are you going to be there or what?" Lance sounded irritated as he interrupted both her sentence and her train of thought. Kitty nodded anxiously, then remembered she was on the phone and told him she would. He hung up. No goodbye, no 'see you later', just a click and then the silence of a disconnected call.

She shivered a little at the feeling of foreboding she felt. Not that anything would go wrong, just that she was going to hear something she really didn't want to at 8:30 at that crappy little coffee place. Unfortunately, dinner still waited and even though her appetite was thoroughly gone, she had left the table under the pretense of going to the bathroom and must return.

So she did, noticeably quieter than before despite her efforts to hide it. When dinner was over and everyone was either cleaning up or running away so they didn't have to help, Kitty got permission and a travel buddy under the condition that she was not, at any point or in any way, to touch the driver's side of the vehicle. Unfortunately, her travel buddy was Ororo Munroe, since she needed to run into town for a few gardening supplies anyway. The awkwardness of having an adult with her on her probable breakup date with Lance almost made her call Lance back and cancel, but right as she finished dialing the Brotherhood's house number she hung up again, remembering Lance's odd quiet tone.

Besides, if it was a breakup date it was going to be awkward anyway, so why not bring an adult along? Ms. Munroe promised to sit well away from wherever Lance and Kitty did, and since that was the best offer Kitty felt it was possible to make, she accepted.

The crappy little coffee place was slow since it closed around nine, the last customers of the night beginning to wrap up their doings and head out, when Kitty and Ms. Munroe entered. Lance glanced up from a booth near the door, did a double take, then sighed with a frown as Kitty neared him. Ms. Munroe ordered a cup of whatever they had left and sat at the counter, leaving the two teens alone as well as she could by mansion rules.

"Of all the people you could have dragged along it was one of the teachers?" Lance grumbled in lieu of a hello. Kitty narrowed her eyes.

"At least she won't 'blab' about it," she shot back. Wow, she thought, what a disillusioned couple we make. They sat in silence for a moment.

"I'm not really sure how to say this, but I've been thinking about it and even though it feels wrong, I think it's the right thing to do." Lance said suddenly, leaning forward intently. Kitty leaned forward too, unnerved by the sudden calm determination in his eyes.

"Okay," she said when he didn't speak again. He twitched a little at her voice, then took a deep breath.

"I've thought about it a lot, and I think…damn it!" He pounded one of his hands with the other in an effort to beat it out of himself. "Say it, just say it. Kitty, I really do…care. About you. I…."

He stared at the cheap stained table severely for several moments, before suddenly looking her dead in the eyes. "I love you."

Kitty blinked in surprise at this, but remained silent.

"I do. I love you. It's…incredible, really. And I think this is why we need to call it quits. For real. Forever."

Ah, so he was breaking up with her after all. What a strange way to do it. The fourth of Kitty that wasn't still in shock from Lance admitting that not only did he have feelings for her but he outright loved her was sort of relieved that this was finally happening for some strange reason.

"I mean, we suck together. We're not really right for each other. As friends, sure. But not like…this. Not as a boyfriend-girlfriend thing. You really are way better than me," he looked back down at the table, the walls, Ms. Munroe, anywhere but at Kitty, "And I keep lying to you, and getting in trouble and expecting you to be there for me when I'm not there for you, and it just…it keeps happening, and it's wrong.

"I want to be around you all the time, and when we're not together I always thing about you. 'What would Kitty think of this?' 'Would Kitty laugh at that joke?' And even though my heart won't quit, my brain knows it'll never work. It's over for good this time, I promise. Because if my heart won't quit loving you, then yours probably isn't going to stop pitying me."

Lance stared out the window, seeing something that was probably only in his head, and Kitty stared at Lance, too startled to do anything else. This was not at all what she had expected.

"So…goodbye, Kitty Pryde. Someday if I'm ever worth something I'll look you up." He stood up, leaving Kitty staring at the booth seat where he had been for a second or two before she blinked and stood up as well. Lance hesitated, then awkwardly held out his hand. After a moment Kitty shook it, still wordless. What was there to say to that?

"Goodbye, Lance Alvers," she finally whispered, surprising herself with how broken her voice sounded. He looked at her longingly for a few seconds more, then glanced away with a brief, relieved grin, one Kitty hadn't seen in a very long time, and left.

Kitty wasn't sure how long she stood there, her right arm slightly extended from the handshake, until Ms. Munroe put her arm around her shoulder and handed her a tissue. Kitty glanced down at it in surprise, then noticed that her face felt wet. How long had she stood there in that horrible little café, crying? It wasn't so much that Lance finally was leaving her, but the words he had said.

"_If my heart won't quit loving you, then yours probably isn't going to stop pitying me." _He had tried to stop loving her and refused to. Couldn't, even. And that hurt more than anything else, knowing she had his love all along and didn't even realize it, and knowing on a deeper level that he was completely right to leave her. Was it pity she felt for him? Yes, something deep in her answered. When had her crush turned to pity? She couldn't think of the moment it had happened.

And why couldn't she stop crying? Ms. Munroe must think she was like a baby or a silly girl getting dumped for the first time. Their drive back to the mansion was silent, gardening errands put aside. When Ms. Munroe had parked the car in the empty garage and turned it off, they sat in the dark for several minutes, Kitty still silently tearing up every few seconds.

Ms. Munroe glanced at the door to the mansion, at Kitty, and then wordlessly gave the girl a hug and showed her something very few of the mansion residents had seen- the secret way to her attic garden sanctuary. Kitty curled up between two exotic-looking leafy plants and took a little while longer to bawl her eyes out before determinedly lifting her chin and descending down the ladder to the top floor of the mansion like a soldier going to war.

Word has discreetly gone out to not mention anything odd about Kitty's behavior or what had happened until she was ready to talk about it, and for once nearly everybody agreed to after the first few days of Kitty checking her phone every twenty seconds hopefully. Nothing changed, Lance did not call. She gathered the courage to ask Wanda about him at school, and found out he'd been so busy being somewhere else that even his housemates only glimpsed him a few times a week.

Whatever Lance was up to didn't really matter to Kitty, not like it would have before. After a few weeks of moping and staring at the phone in the middle of the night, or hearing it ring and her heart lifting to her throat only to find out it was one of her parents, she started acting like her old self again. She became the same bubbly, cheerful girl her friends were used to. She wore even more pink than before.

However sometimes, in the middle of the night when she was feeling the most alone, Lance's words would come back to haunt her one more time: "_My heart won't quit loving you."_


End file.
